Ageism in the Church

A few years ago I visited a church that a great many Danish churches and pastors traveled to for inspiration. It was known all over the world. Beautiful production. Energy. Young people everywhere — on the stage, in the band, in the leadership.

I was impressed. And it was clear that none of it was by accident. It was a deliberate aesthetic.

Then I heard the pastor say it outright: no one over 40 on the stage in the church.

I sat still for a moment.

Not because I was shocked by the look of it. But because I thought: that is not a strategy. That is discrimination. And it is unbiblical.

She is mentioned only once in the entire Bible.

A single half a verse. A single name.

Grandmother Lois.

Not famous like her grandson Timothy. Not nearly as well known as his mentor Paul. But when Paul writes to the young pastor, she is the one he mentions first.

"Both your mother, Eunice, and your grandmother, Lois, had a strong faith, and I am convinced that you have that same strong faith." (2 Timothy 1:5)

That's all. And then she's gone again.

But hold on to that.

Lois passed her faith on to Eunice. Eunice passed it on to Timothy. And Timothy planted churches, and Paul put his trust in him throughout his mission. Lois did not influence the world. But she started a faith story that did.

We have a problem in the church. We discriminate on the basis of age, and we do it both ways. We tell the young: you are not ready yet, you are too inexperienced. And we tell the old: your time is over, we need something young and fresh.

Both are wrong. And both are unbiblical.

When the church decides who gets to be visible on the basis of an age criterion, we have stopped being a spiritual family and become a "brand". We optimize for an audience instead of reflecting God's character.

And it contradicts who God is. For throughout all of Scripture he reveals himself as the God of the generations — not just the God of youth.

The books of Moses tell us that for thousands of years the Jewish people have prayed the same prayer — the Shema Israel:

"The Lord is our God — the Lord alone! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with life and soul and with all your strength! These words that I command you today you shall take to heart, so that you teach them to your children and talk about them wherever and whenever, out and at home, at bedtime and in the morning." (Deuteronomy 6:4-7)

Faith was never meant for just one generation. It was always meant to be passed on.

God introduces himself to Moses as "the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob." Four men. Four generations. As if God is saying: I am not just your God. I am your father's God, your grandfather's God, your great-grandfather's God and your great-great-grandfather's God.

And Paul writes to Timothy: "Everything you have heard me teach in the presence of many witnesses you shall pass on to faithful people, who are qualified to teach others themselves." (2 Timothy 2:2)

Paul. Timothy. Faithful people. And the ones they teach. Four generations in one verse.

That is the model. Not young people on the stage and older people in the background. But generations who get to know one another and pass the faith on.

Grandmother Lois would never have been allowed on the stage in a church that only wants people under 40. But she shaped the man who shaped a continent.

This week I was told by our own social media team that I am too old for Instagram and TikTok. That's for the younger generation, they said. I laughed a little. But I thought the same thing I did back then in that church.

Christina and I both meet weekly with younger leaders — we believe in passing it on and raising up the next generation. We are all in on that.

But it must never be at the expense of the generations that came before.

These last two weeks I have had mentoring and coaching conversations with teenagers, young adults, mature leaders and one person in the 80-plus bracket. And you know what I discovered? They all had something to give one another. The teenager had something the 80-year-old did not. And the 80-year-old had something no teenager in the world can buy.

It is not a competition for the stage. It is a family that needs every part.

Last Sunday I saw it with my own eyes. My mother-in-law, my wife, our daughters and our grandchildren — all serving in the same service. The two little guys' ministry right now is mainly to spread joy. But it is still ministry.

That is the church Jesus is still building.

What generation are you? Who passed the faith on to you — and who are you passing it on to?

What do you experience in your everyday life — what does age discrimination look like? Feel free to write in the comments.

Faith never ends with us. It is always meant to reach the next.